Free Rent in My Mind

I know I don’t blog often. I do this more so as an outlet for when I feel like my life is getting out of control OR when I really need to sit down and focus. I got laid off in March like many Americans did. I worked my a** off for 2 years and gave everything to a company that had no problem letting me go as soon as times got tough. In Oct they hired a new manager after I and another female supervisor interviewed multiple male potentials. Before he was hired, her and I ran the show. We ran it well and we worked well together. However they insisted that there be a manager even though the department was not big enough for all of us. Before I co-ran this particular department I ran another one from the ground up. I came up with the policies and procedures, formed relationships with clients and vendors, and brought in over 1.8 million in revenue in the first year. So when they begged me to help out the hurting department I declined because I was not hired to fix something that was broken. Ultimately it was not my decision and I ended up co-supervising the department anyways.

When the new manager started his energy was refreshing but intense. It was okay though because I, coming from a corporate world, am used to intense and high energy management style. I actually prefer this type of management over laid back or easygoing. Something about the drive and passion gets me excited about the job, the vision, or company I work for in general. For years this was lacking in the department I started out in but finally a fresh start! In fact I had even hoped that once the department turned around I could go back to running the department I came from. However that did not happen and in fact it got much much worse.

The new manager had his negative opinions of everything that the company did; from how the department was ran, the company was ran and what he thought about everyone. He had only been there a month and pretty much turned everyone against each other in most departments. Associates from outside of the department complained about the hostile environment he began to create. At one point he had me in tears for almost an hour telling me that I had a big ego and that I was rude among other soul crushing comments. I had been there over two years and not once has anyone  said anything about my attitude or work ethic. He may have felt threaten by me because, or so I thought, I was well respected by everyone especially upper management. I could go on and on about this and what ultimately ended up happening (I was in the first rounds of furloughed employees) but that is not really what this blog entry is about. Yes I was upset. Yes I was angry, Yes I was confused as to why the company chose to stick with this narcissist and call me while I was on vacation for spring break to break the news to me. Everything I worked for gone. Now I know furloughed isn’t a permanent layoff. I will have a position available once this all blows over. They are a small business and it took one week of low revenue to start furloughing their employees. They furloughed almost 60 hard working employees. In my opinion this business was already hurting in the first quarter and this did them in. I am not sure when I’ll be able to return if ever since it’s going to take some time to get back to where they were. So this might be and actually is a blessing in disguise!

I went through a week of not knowing what the heck to do. I am sure I am not alone in this. I am thankful that as of today my husband still has a job. He’s considered an essential employee. After I got annoyed with myself I decided to quit sulking and being angry. I decided to harness that energy and starting investing…. in myself. Since March I have finished studying and taking all my test for my real estate license, started up my virtual assistant business (finally), and start a new career as transaction coordinator that goes along with my real estate license. You really never know how strong you are until you are pushed to your outer limits forcing you to take action instead of lie down and succumb to my worst fear; having no control. I decided that the only person from now on that is in charge of me is me. I am done working hard for someone else’s dream. I said from the beginning of 2020 that this year will be my year and I meant it. So I do not look at furloughed as a setback but as a huge opportunity to make the necessary changes for me and my happiness. My family deserves a better version of me and since the lock down, I have found my true self again. So instead of saying what was on my mind when I got the call, I say thank you instead. Without this I would not be moving on for the better.

Everyone hang on; you’ve got this. Think of the positives and focus on what is in front of you. Take one day at a time.